I made the mistake of listening to Major Nelson's extended infomercial he calls an Xbox gaming podcast just now. I normally don't go out of my way to knock people, least of all podcasters, but I came away from the listening to the show like I had just spent an hour and a half listening to Vince the "Slap Chop guy" telling me about how great his nuts were.

Not so much a show about gaming news than a show about the selling of games, Nelson can never be confused with Tom Brokaw. Nevertheless, his program hit an all time low for me as he seamlessly and predictably turned an "exclusive interview" with Infinity Ward's Rob Bowling into a co-conspiracy to sell XBoxers more DLC.

After the quickie "You're amazing", "No...you're amazing" intros, the two got down to the serious business of announcing that Activision does not think you have paid them enough this year and want more money...now! Sure enough, Bowling (Fourzerotwo) announced "The Stimulus Package" DLC.

SANTA MONICA, Calif., March 10, 2010 /PRNewswire via COMTEX News Network/ -- Begin the countdown to a new infusion of Call of Duty! The Call of Duty(R): Modern Warfare(R) 2 Stimulus Package  will strike worldwide on March 30. Representing the first new multiplayer maps from the biggest entertainment launch in history, Infinity Ward's Modern Warfare 2 Stimulus Package  will release first on Xbox LIVE(R), Activision Publishing, Inc. (Nasdaq: ATVI) announced today.

Additionally, Silver Xbox LIVE members who have not yet experienced the exciting adrenaline rush of "Modern Warfare 2" will be able to try it with a Multiplayer Unlock event running from March 12 to March 15.

Developed by Infinity Ward, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 became a cultural phenomenon when it launched to the world in November. The epic title set new entertainment records for the greatest one-day and five-day openings in history* on the way to topping $1 billion in sales and becoming the best selling title ever on the Xbox 360(R) video game and entertainment system from Microsoft. Additionally, Xbox LIVE celebrates having the largest Call of Duty community than any other entertainment system.

The Call of Duty(R): Modern Warfare(R) 2 Stimulus Package is rated "M" (Mature) by the ESRB for Blood, Drug Reference, Intense Violence and Language. For more information, visit www.modernwarfare2.com.  

This DLC will feature five maps for MW2.

Unsanctioned pics of the maps: link 

1. Bailout.
An overrun apartment complex, with long sight lines, which by all accounts looks, um, like an overrun apartment complex.

Say what you will about IW, they can take any extravagantly luscious locale and make it look like it was used as a way station by diarrheal Canada Geese.

So you can imagine, I can't wait to see their latest dung-heap masterpiece.

2. Salvage
A snowy map. Oooh snow! Pure. Virginal. Has IW eschewed their penchant for grunge and instead provided us with the sterile but simple beauty of winter?

Nope. Warehouses and an abandoned junk yard. That's the IW touch alright.

3. Storm
I'm getting a bit antsy. Up to now, none of these maps have impaired our vision with needless clutter. After all, what ophthalmologist doesn't use MW2 maps to simulate eye "floaters" to his patients?

Having said that, where are the glaucoma-inducing maps that are played in pitch black conditions? Where are the maps that make my investment in a high end video card irrelevant by depicting white-out blizzard conditions?

Oh...it's pouring rain on this map? There we go.

And the dilapidated warehouses? Ahhh. That's the IW attention to detail.

4. Crash
5. Overgrown

Back by popular demand, eh? Right. Looks like all the turmoil and low morale being reported at IW might have caused them to come up two maps short if you ask me. Well...why not regurgitate two levels from CoD4 and make the fans pay for them all over again? Fifteen bucks for these. Five more than they had been asking in previous releases. And they'll get it from all the console guys. 

And speaking of turmoil, there wasn't a single mention of made of Zampella or West's departure from IW or any discourse on what their exit means for the company during Nelson's conversation with Fourzerotwo. Not that I expected the topic to be brought up.

Of course, there was no mention of the Zampella and West's lawsuit against Activision, nor was there a hint of the news that they have being signed by Creative Artists Agency (CAA).

CAA was the agency Michael Ovitz used to work for. He being the Hollywood power-broker who made the deal moving David Letterman to CBS. What this means is that these ex-IW guys are being represented by some of the best agents in the biz. Still don't know what I'm talking about? Think of Ari Gold from Entourage. That's pretty big news, but Nelson's show cannot broach the subject lest they never be allowed to speak to an Activision employee again.

I normally don't get too critical of the work others do, but something about this show just set me off.

I don't know if it was Nelson's comments about the March 30th DLC release being an XBox exclusive at least initially and then it'll go "wherever else it will go". It'll go to PS3 and PC Nelson. That's where it'll go. Go on. You can say the words. You won't turn to stone.

That was pretty annoying to listen to, but hearing Fourzerotwo telling us how IW is attentive to the community has become intolerable if you are a PC gamer. This is old news for many of you who gave up on IW many months back, but listening to him tell us how he's at the beck and call of MW2's community on XBox Live and on Facebook, made me go for a long drive on the pier in my shag-carpeted Toyota.

Looks like my displeasure at seeing the PC community again being ignored has been a pointless expression of emotion. He once suggested that PC gamers might be able to work with IW to fashion an IW.net that would be something worthwhile. That half-promise never came to fruition.

Most importantly to the bottom line at Activision is that our collective angst has had no impact. MW2 XBox gamers have continued to show up in droves to play this game: 25 million uniques played MW2 on XBox Live last weekend. The PC community may have had 130,000 playing at its height.

Well, looks like my only solution to keep my blood pressure down to normal levels may be to finally cut my ties to MW2. Uninstall weekend may be coming. Looks like many of you have chosen to do the same (link).

Here's Nelson's podcast: Show #353 (Fourzerotwo comes on at 48:00)

Thanks to Beaknuke for the link.